Senin, 25 Agustus 2014

here we go again!!

It was raining cats and dogs outside. My anxiety rose up as I heard the loud voice of thousands drop of water hit the roof. The hall was so cold since the air conditioner still fully worked. It made me more nervous. I sat uncomfortably, staring at Rifki on the stage finishing his arguments, something about human resource. I didn’t really pay attention since I was busy thinking. Questions dashed in my mind “why is it suddenly raining? why can’t the sound man turn up the volume? What if the adjudicators can’t hear him?”

It was the grand final round the NUDC 2014 Novice category. Unand team was acting as opening government, Rifki as Prime Minister and Melati as the Deputy. We’re debating against ITS, UMSU, and Universitas Mulawarman. When it’s Melati’s turn, the rain was pouring harder and harder, I hardly hear her. I took several pictures of her and tried to concentrate to hear what she said. Then after that, I was spacing out until the opposition whip came back to his seat and the final match completed.
I congratulated them, saying that they’ve worked hard and given their best, that I am so proud of them. The result would be announced on the closing ceremony that night and that means we had several free hours. The official from our campus offered to visit Barelang bridge, so we left the hall even though we wanted to watch the final round of main break category.
POIs in the first preliminary round
All the way to Balerang, I was contemplating in my mind. I was so happy that unand team made it to final. Being the part of this odyssey means a lot to me. Months of training paid off like how I expected. Started from the internal selection last March, then the preparation for the NUDC regional level, the debate camp, the first accomplishment in Pekanbaru that we made it to national level, and finally the long waited NUDC itself.
We dealt with hard times. Lacking money, being tired of training, confronting those people in the student’s affair about funding, I feel like we worked on our own. This campus didn’t really care about this debate team. But we didn’t stop. We refused to give up only because we don’t have enough support.
I wasn’t helping much, though. I just organized the funding with those people in student’s affair, adjudicate when we’re training, and arrange the schedule . Bang Rian took care of the training and he pushed us to work harder and harder. He is pushy, sometimes I found it depressing. But I always knew that it’s what we need. I nagged a lot when I couldn’t handle the pressure. But thank God both Melati and Rifki weren’t hard. They don’t complaint if we have to train until dusk, or when it’s raining hard, or when nobody else showed up.

bang rian. yes, this is the face that become scary sometimes

Melati is much calmer and more mature than I am despite she’s still very young. I thought she was kinda shocked when we have to share one hotel bedroom for six people in Pekanbaru but she didn’t over-react to that.

melati, being melati
Rifki, in the other hand, tent to worry a lot. He was the youngest kid in his family and seems like he’s a little spoiled, Paul made fun of him because of that. But I don’t find it as a problem because having another nagger in the team made me feel better when I myself nag. Since we have the same personality and somehow the same background (we both are from Bukittinggi and graduated from SMA 1) it’s easier to tell him about what I feel.

rifki, the president of Andalas Oratoria

Paul, our N-1 adjudicator, is a whole different person. She’s loud and talks nonsense. It’s always a laugh when she’s around but I have to be honest that sometimes I feel embarrassed because of her. She picked a fight with rifki a lot and I have to stop them from hitting each other or the people will watch them. I feel like an uptight old grandma when I deal with Paul but sure, it wouldn’t be the same without her.

here's paul,  our trouble maker
This is the best NUDC for me even though I am no longer a debater. I feel like their triumph is also my own accomplishment. I always want to see Unand debater standing on the podium and prove to those who didn’t take us seriously. Most of all, I want to prove to Unand itself that we deserve some acknowledgement. We don’t ask much. All we want is our own UKM. We need to be more than just a community so we can develop. I believe they don’t have excuse anymore to refuse our request.  

that was an amazing odyssey, after all :)


Kamis, 06 Maret 2014

1 Maret 2014, pukul 9 pagi

Matahari sudah mendaki seperempat kubah langit sebelah timur. Bentuknya terlihat bulat sempurna tanpa silau yang membutakan, terlihat seperti purnama kelima belas. Hanya saja tidak sebesar purnama dan warnanya oranye tua. Kabut asap tebal telah menyaring sebagian silaunya dan menyisakan pemandangan bola gas kecil yang mengapung diatas langit Pekanbaru. Pohon-pohon di luar jarak pandang 700 meter-an terlihat seperti halimun yang hanyut dibawa angin. Tak ada yang terlihat jelas, kabut membuat mata perih dan pernapasan sesak. ditambah lagi kami harus berjalan agak jauh di tengah udara beracun ke tempat acara yang sedang kami ikuti di Kampus Unri. saya merasa ada lapisan aneh di pangkal tenggorokan karena menghirup udara yang tak sehat itu. Karena itu saya lebih senang memakai masker walaupun bernafas jadi tak nyaman.
Pemandangan kabut asap di depan penginapan

matahari tak gagah lagi

Cerita tentang kabut asap di Pekanbaru adalah satu hal, tapi acara yang kami ikuti di Unri adalah hal lain. Dari tanggal 1 sampai 3 maret kemarin saya bersama teman-teman tim debat Unand mengikuti  debate competition di Sumatera English Olympic Universitas Riau. Saya menjadi invited adjudicator. ini bukan kali pertama sebenarnya, tapi saya masih merasa deg-degan dan sedikit insecure, perasaan yang dimiliki oleh orang yang kurang latihan dan kurang pengalaman. 

Sejujurnya, saya memang tidak pernah merasa cukup baik dalam hal debating atau adjudicating. Ketika debat, saya selalu merasa ada yang kurang, selalu ada parameter yang tertinggal, missing logic, atau pun elaborasi yang tidak kesampaian. Begitu juga ketika jadi adjudicator, saya kadang merasa kalau ada poin yang saya lewatkan, kadang-kadang ragu memutuskan argument mana yang lebih relevan dan berisi. Tapi kali ini, saya berusaha sebaik mungkin mencatat dan memperhatikan speech dari masing-masing debater, berusaha se-fair mungkin dalam memberikan assessment dan menginterpretasikan dan menyimpulkan case. Saya melakukan yang terbaik yang bisa saya lakukan, pada akhirnya saya bisa jadi salah satu breaking adjudicator, Alhamdulillah. 
bersama tim debat UMSU Medan

Namun sejujurnya, saya tak merasakan euforia menjadi breaking adjudicator. Ada hal yang jauh lebih penting yang saya dapatkan dibanding sekedar title itu, yaitu keinginan untuk terus belajar dan berusaha. Ketika saya dengan memalukannya hanya menjadi trainee adju di SOVED 2013, saya sempat merasa sangat insecure dan tidak berani apply untuk jadi adju di kompetisi-kompetisi regional. Saya merasa saya masih sangat kurang keahlian dan pengalaman dan belum layak menjadi invited. Perasaan insecure itu membuat saya melewatkan banyak kesempatan belajar. saya bahkan tidak mencoba. Yang saya tidak tahu adalah bahwa invited-invited lain juga mungkin memulai dengan perasaan yang sama, mungkin mereka juga insecure, bahkan mungkin mereka memiliki kemampuan awal yang tidak lebih baik dari saya. tapi mereka tidak berhenti. Mereka belajar hingga akhirnya bisa seperti mereka yang sekarang. 

Inilah inti yang disampaikan Chief Adjudicator acara tersebut dalam seminarnya, bahwa kesempatan belajar lebih berharga dibandingkan dengan title apapun yang akan kita dapat nantinya. Tidak hanya dalam debat, tapi dalam mengejar mimpi apapun kita harus bekerja keras untuk mencapainya. Dan di akhir setiap kerja keras, hadiah terbaik yang akan kita dapatkan tetaplah hasil pembelajaran itu sendiri, yang akan mematangkan dan mendewasakan. 

Karena itu, saya mulai lagi bermimpi. Suatu saat nanti, saya akan menjadi Chief Adjudicator sebuah debate competition yang sukses. Di tengah-tengah kabut asap, diperjalanan kembali ke penginapan, saya membenamkan mimpi itu di dalam hati. 
makan siang terakhir di Pekanbaru


Sabtu, 11 Januari 2014
one day, you're 17 and you're planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today and then someday is yesterday, and this is your life.
- John Green

the hardest thing about being a fangirl is, i don't want to be a fangirl.

Senin, 06 Januari 2014

when i think of it, it's been almost a year since the first time i watch Running Man. the first episode i seriously watched was when Jackie Chan came as guest. it was the 135th episode, aired March 3rd last year. it was a good laugh. a very-seriously-made show since they invite a world star. it's been a while since the last time i laughed so hard so I wanted to watch started from the first episode. very easy to get the ALL EPISODES of the show, a friend in my boarding has complete collection.

and then, it started.

i watched Running Man literally every day. i watched it when i had breakfast, when i was tired after a long day, in weekends, or even in the middle of the night. the more episode i watched the more it captivated me. i became obsessed. i finished watching the whole episodes only in couple of weeks.

and then i started to study Hangul. i found an easy Hangul tutorial in internet then learn how to write and pronounce it. it's much easier than memorizing Hiragana and Katakana. i also learn new words everyday from watching Running Man. until this level, I felt like loving Running Man can actually give me new knowledge and a different level of entertainment.

things turned out to be stupid when i started to like one of the cast too much, Lee Kwang Soo. He's not the handsome guy type. he plays the stupid and ridiculous role in the show. i don't understand why i like him but seriously, he could turn from being very ugly to very good looking.

ugly one

cool one

i like him too much. this is not right. i come to a point where i think Patrick Star's advice is so damn true: "hero worship is unhealthy."

so now, if i know how to stop being a fangirl, i would be so happy.