picture of lifetime

Sabtu, 22 Desember 2012
it's a slow day. nothing to do. i was spending my time by watching movies with Ija, taking a nap and wash some dishes. when i almost drown in boredom, i decided to post some picture in my blog, my favorite picture of lifetime. some of them are not well-taken but the most important thing for me is the story they have. So, here it goes :)

this is the picture from my parents wedding. it was a hard time. two college students from poor family, have nothing but love, decided to unite themselves in the way Allah would approve. i think my parents were brave and they've proven that they made the right decision, until now.

well, i was not expecting to see any picture from their wedding since all of them were burnt in the fire in 1994. we lost our home, chickens and turkeys, my parents' diploma and a lot of other things. but when my cousin (my dad's nephew) from Bengkulu visited us, he brought this picture and gave it to me. i scanned it and now, the history is preserved :D

this is Pitok, my only brother. i didn't always get along with him. sometimes we fought so bad that i feel like i want to lock him in the attic forever :p (yes, i was a cruel sister). but the more we grow up the more we love each other. i told him about my problem and told me about his. we became friends and spent time together. i like this picture because he looks good in it. well, i will never compliment him directly like this. he's narcissistic and it's annoying.

this is the picture of me and my best friend in high school, Bibib and Chaky. aaah~ those beautiful moment. we look so young and happy, right? that's why i love this picture. i was still innocent and mindless, nothing to worry, and i saw my future as something bright and promising. compare with this picture:

the object is still the same (plus jejen, my other high school best friend). i don't know about chaky and bibib, but in this picture i've change a lot. i was still smiling but, yeah, something missing. i don't know, i'm still searching for it. but i love this picture because after years, we're still friends, no matter how much we've changed.

this is the picture of me, baday, mbakyu and helni. i don't know what's so special about this picture. i just want to upload it. but yeah, these people are also my best friends.
and the last one is:

well, this is about debate. my wonderland.the place where i can always feel happy no matter what happen. i don't care if i win or lose, the only thing i care is: i debate.

so, that's it.thank you for reading :)


Minggu, 16 Desember 2012
sudah sebelas hari sejak Kanza pergi. tapi sesak di dada belum surut setiap kali melihat fotonya. ingatan tentang dia yang tersedak-sedak dijejali selang napas juga masih terang. walau wajah tak lagi melihatkan raut sendu, tapi hati masih saja merasa menyesal dan aku masih berharap ini hanya mimpi saat tertidur di sore hari. mimpi saat sore seringkali terasa sangat nyata, tapi tetap saja itu hanya mimpi. seburuk apapun, pada akhirnya kita akan terbangun dan bisa merasa lega karena hal yang kita rasakan tidak benar-benar terjadi. tapi tidak, ini bukan mimpi sore, mimpi tidak berlangsung sampai sebelas hari.

tidak ada gunanya menangisi mereka yang pergi. apalagi yang pergi itu adalah bayi kecil berusia 4 bulan yang masih bersih. dia akan disambut dengan baik disana. ketika aku merasa sesak, menyesal, atau berharap sebenarnya aku hanya takut pada keadaanku sendiri. ketika aku menangis, mungkin aku hanya menangisi kenapa aku tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa untuk Kanza. yang menjadi masalah bukan apakah Kanza masih bersama kami atau sudah bersama-Nya, tapi bagaimana kehadiran Kanza yang singkat diantara kami bisa membuat hidup kami lebih baik.

bagaimanapun juga, hidup akan tetap berlanjut.